Everyone is empathic, some overly so, and others are not even aware of it. It is a matter of degree.
There are many articles written on the traits of an empath, however, I have yet to find one that shows how to transform these traits into a powerful gift. Being empathic means we are aware of subconscious, and unconscious information and often neurologically wired to use that awareness to create safety.
I have met and worked with many empaths. Many empaths end up as healers, as did I (for a time). I am also an empath who has been on my own profound journey with both the challenges and gifts that this experience provides. Often I hear from empaths that they feel ‘other people’s stuff’. It sure can seem that way. However as we do our own inner work, of reclaiming ourselves and discerning what we are responsible, we may come to find out that what we are feeling in our system, is not actually anyone elses stuff, rather it is their ‘stuff’ which is triggering, and resonating to our stuff. The opportunity for the gift comes through the process of owning our own stuff, rather than reacting from it.
Empaths often become healers and can easily end up frazzled and exhausted in their constant endeavour to save, or support others. At a deeper level mastering these skills is clearly about discernment between what is ‘me’ and what is ‘not me’. This requires us to sense the relational dynamics not just of the experience, but to notice our orientation and position in regard to these experience. In other words to notice ‘who is looking’… and to uncover the filter of perception which is shaping our life. If we are showing up as a healer, we are likely to be inherently holding a position, that is influencing the field. This orientation or position might be fixing or healing, what is broken in the other. This position keeps us trapped, and can continue to perpetuate our experience. Empaths are often hyper sensitive, hyper vigilant, and thus engaged unconsciously in maintaining safety by fixing others…. What I have seen many times is that they can often be disconnected (soul loss) and unaware of their own experience. The reflection and resonance to other people’s trauma is actually a doorway to the gift, if you dare to own it. Many are on this path, it is the classic wounded healer. Sometimes called shaman. However names can be misleading.
In my own journey with mastering empathy it has taken many years. A spiralling journey of discovery. As a result my orientation has shifted to a point that healing sessions are an inner exploration for me to notice what is arising within me, a process of Sovereignty. The task to take responsibility only for healing things in myself, though ultimately healing mySelf, is providing a transmission and support which enables the client to heal when they are ready. Holding this orientation and self referral process provides an effective energetic pathway through resonance to the most powerful truth within ourselves. The client is actually the gift. Whatever is happening my endeavour is aimed at embodying stillness (which is the doorway into this Absolute). Stillness itself is where form dies and is reborn (healing is integration). This is healing is at the causal layer.
Safety inherently requires us to know who we are and what we are responsible for. Safety can only be felt in the present moment, it is not a fixed state. In fact the drive toward safety often has people compromise their integrity as it is paramount to survival.
When we have boundary issues, there is a lack of awareness and discernment. Resonance to something outside of us, which may trigger a response within us, is the path to mastering empathy. Until we find this clarity, we are enmeshed and entangled in everyone’s business unable to get a clear sense of self. We are also often a target for energetic entities, which become attached to us in the parts of ourselves that our conscious awareness, is not fully inhabiting. This absence creates a lack of safety, as it leaves us open to distortions from resonance to traumatic material which hidden from us. This too is another lengthy subject. However, if you suspect this situation the exercise following can work wonders.
We are truly powerless to change anything outside the area of our own responsibility. It is also not our responsibility to do so. That itself arises from a lack of integrity. Like they say ‘be the change you want to see in the world’. This is a long subject in itself and requires a certain degree of what I call sovereignty in order to not be projecting our own stuff onto others.
Responsible means … ability to respond… and here in lies the key.
You cannot use the conscious awareness of your ‘head’ to sort this out. By this, I mean you cannot figure it out with thoughts, analysis, or understanding. Thoughts are separate from the solution, thoughts are locked in time, and you can only know yourself in the NOW. Boundaries adapt and move depending on what is going on in the NOW moment. Of course while a little contemplation can be helpful, recognize that your mind is part of the problem. Your heart connection is what is needed. That is where the real you lives… the head only has an idea of who you think you are… and this is just a mental construct keeping you from a direct connection with yourSelf. Inquire more deeply!
You can only feel ‘you’, in the present moment. I mean this as an energetic felt-sense of ‘me and my boundaries’. Being able to discern ‘me’ from the quantum soup of conscious information; which is not you and not your business. Just this idea itself is helpful.
As a first step try this and let me know how it works for you:
- Breathe yourself into yourself, and
- Feel the entire energetic felt-sense of the whole body
- Take a snapshot of what you are seeing/sensing
- Put your hand on your heart centre and move your awareness to your heart centre. You can just feel the felt-sense connection of your hand on your heart centre and feel inwards a little.
- Notice if it feels different being here, connected to your heart.
- As you sense the energetic quality of this connection, be sincere and say to your self ‘I just want to feel me’.
- Just sense the energy of your whole body. Does it feel different to the first snapshot? Stay connected to your heart and sincerity. Notice what the difference is.
- Once you feel stable in this connection, put your other hand on your belly. Feel behind your belly hand. You should ideally still be aware of your heart and whole body. This is your power centre.
- Just breathe and rest with the desire to just feel you, notice yourself… how big is your field, does it have any holes in it, or blank spots (places you cannot be aware of)?
- Be curious and keep sensing with the desire to ‘know’.
- Doing this kind of work has the power to change the way you are wired neurologically. It has the power to heal the unresolved past, and help you find out who you really are.
There is quite a bit that can be done to help you find ‘yourself’, your true self and be able to discern your boundaries and what you are responsible for. Ultimately it will take you on a journey to own your soul, to clear the energetic trauma imprints that were what originally had you leave yourself and neurologically wire to a point where being empathic has caused you challenges.
My personal journey of being overly empathic to the point of being ill, drained, chronic fatigue and even nervous breakdown, or spiritual emergency became a catalyst for my research, and study and ultimately the healing of my soul. It took me many years, a lot of pain, and challenges, and I only hope that my own journey can inspire and support others to find their gift more easily. The creation of the Embody Truth technology was founded on my journey of almost 30 years from awakening to healing and recovery. during this time being overly empathic seemed like a curse…. which ultimately led to my gift.