Everyone is empathic, some overly so, and others are not even aware of it. It is a matter of degree.
There are many articles written on the traits of an empath, however, I have yet to find one that shows how to transform these traits into a powerful gift. Being empathic means we are aware of subconscious, and unconscious information and often neurologically wired to use that awareness to create safety. This is generally happening beneath our conscious awareness, and therefore we are unconscious of it.
In order to reclaim the power from our empathic awareness we need to create another way of feeling safe in order to transcend the challenges of being empathic. A key to safety is an awareness of our own sense of self, grounded, embodied and heart centred knowing our own boundaries so that we are able to discern what we are responsible for and what we are not. Being safe requires us to ‘be here’, not out ‘there’.
Safety inherently requires us to know who we are and what we are responsible for. Safety can only be felt in the present moment, it is not a fixed state. In fact the drive toward safety often has people compromise their integrity as it is paramount to survival.
When we have boundary issues, not only are our own boundaries being invaded by ‘other’ people’s stuff; we are also taking responsibility and invading the boundaries of others. We are enmeshed and entangled in everyone’s business unable to get a clear sense of self. We are also often a target for energetic entities, which become attached to us in the parts of ourselves that we, our conscious awareness, is not fully inhabiting. This too is another lengthy subject. However, if you suspect this situation the exercise following can work wonders.
We are truly powerless to change anything outside the area of our own responsibility. Like they say ‘be the change you want to see in the world’. The gift we are being given is to reflect back what we see in others, so that they can be informed by truth. This is a long subject in itself and requires a certain degree of what I call sovereignty in order to not be projecting our own stuff onto others.
Responsible means … ability to respond… and here in lies the key.
You cannot use the conscious awareness of your ‘head’ to sort this out. By this, I mean you cannot figure it out with thoughts, analysis, or understanding. Thoughts are separate from the solution, thoughts are locked in time, and you can only know yourself in the NOW. Boundaries adapt and move depending on what is going on in the NOW moment. Of course while a little contemplation can be helpful, recognize that your mind is part of the problem. Your heart connection is what is needed. That is where the real you lives… the head only has an idea of who you think you are.
You can only feel ‘you’, in the present moment. I mean this as an energetic felt-sense of ‘me and my boundaries’. Being able to discern ‘me’ from the quantum soup of conscious information; which is not you and not your business. Just this idea itself is helpful.
As a first step try this and let me know how it works for you:
- Breathe yourself into yourself, and
- Feel the entire energetic felt-sense of the whole body
- Take a snapshot of what you are seeing/sensing
- Put your hand on your heart centre and move your awareness to your heart centre. You can just feel the felt-sense connection of your hand on your heart centre and feel inwards a little.
- Notice if it feels different being here, connected to your heart.
- As you sense the energetic quality of this connection, be sincere and say to your self ‘I just want to feel me’.
- Just sense the energy of your whole body. Does it feel different to the first snapshot? Stay connected to your heart and sincerity. Notice what the difference is.
- Once you feel stable in this connection, put your other hand on your belly. Feel behind your belly hand. You should ideally still be aware of your heart and whole body. This is your power centre.
- Just breathe and rest with the desire to just feel you, notice yourself… how big is your field, does it have any holes in it, or blank spots (places you cannot be aware of)?
- Be curious and keep sensing with the desire to ‘know’.
- Doing this kind of work has the power to change the way you are wired neurologically. It has the power to heal the unresolved past, and help you find out who you really are.
There is quite a bit that can be done to help you find ‘yourself’, your true self and be able to discern your boundaries and what you are responsible for. Ultimately it will take you on a journey to own your soul, to clear the energetic trauma imprints that were what originally had you leave yourself and neurologically wire to a point where being empathic caused you problems. This is a vast topic and beyond the scope of a small article. You can get more clues by reading some of my other posts and exploring this site… and feel free to ask questions or comment.
My personal journey of being overly empathic to the point of being ill, drained, chronic fatigue and even nervous breakdown, or spiritual emergency became a catalyst for my research, and study and ultimately the healing of my soul. It took me many years, a lot of pain, and challenges, and I only hope that my own journey can inspire and support others to find their gift more easily. The creation of the Embody Truth technology was founded on my journey of over 20 years of healing and recovery, during which time being overly empathic was a curse. Now it is a gift.
What I discovered is that early (preconscious) or severe trauma can change or create a neurological wiring that favours being overly aware of what’s happening outside of you, and often unaware of your own emotions. The outside becomes a trigger for overwhelm. The ‘sense of self’ that would be considered ‘normal’ is hooked up neurologically to be more ‘identified’ with outside, rather than your own separate self. You may also be more ‘wired’ to higher frequency information, spirit rather than matter. In this context, being wired to spirit is like a by-pass from being here, in ‘matter’… the dense frequency is where trauma lives in our cellular memory. We are avoiding being here, and accessing the traumatic material, and yet it is through being here that our salvation lies.
Being ‘wired’ this way might also include a sense of hyper-vigilance as you feel too much yet never feel safe. What I have found to be common is that if you take care of the outside, you believe you will feel ok, but you become exhausted as its is overwhelming and actually impossible. There is a confusion and powerlessness in trying to sort out somebody else’s issues if you are not the one responsible.
Many healers are empathic, and many of them become energetically drained by their work. For me personally, my healing work gives me boundless energy, because I am not the healer, there is a force beyond me that has the power to heal anything. I am merely a guide to show others how to access that place. I don’t take responsibility for ‘healing’ as it is not my business to do so. I learned this through the school of hard knocks.